Nonexistance
by demonprincess7
Summary: Missing scenes from Father's Day. 9/Rose


"Everyone, get behind me!" The Doctor shouted as the creature appeared. The people in the church screamed and ran back behind the strange man who had promised to save them. "I'm the oldest thing in here!" He told the creature. It swooped down right toward him.

"Doctor!" Rose screamed as the creature swallowed him whole.

That's the last thing the Doctor heard. He held on to it, like an anchor that would hold him to the planet. Rose Tyler. That's what made his sacrifice worth it. He didn't mean to be hurtful. She'd done something selfish and stupid, but who wouldn't have? If he were given the chance to save his own family… but he knew the consequences. He'd never even try. He didn't really believe that she'd ever planned any of it. She'd gotten scared and acted the same way anyone would. He had just gotten so jealous.

He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't see anything. He didn't even know if his eyes were open. The only thing he knew was that he wasn't breathing and that he didn't need to. _So this is nonexistence then. I thought there'd at least be comfy chairs. _He joked. He didn't panic he was calm. Rose would be safe, he just knew it. Her father was smarter than he looked and the Doctor knew if he could figure out that Rose was his daughter and that he was meant to be dead and _actually_ believe it, then the man could figure out how to fix it. He thought about what he'd said, 'I'm your dad. It's my job for it to be my fault.' It was fitting really. He would have to undo what Rose did. It would have to be his choice. At the very least Pete Tyler would get to be the good father that he'd never gotten the chance to be.

The silence and emptiness was starting to really bother the Doctor. He was glad he at least had his memories to keep him company. 900 years of traveling and adventures, but still all he thought about was _her_. Rose, his Rose. He could allow himself to think those things now. Now that he didn't exist. Would he remember this when he got back? Assuming that he wasn't wrong about Pete Tyler. He wasn't certain. He didn't really care either.

He thought of how she smiled and how she laughed. He thought it was sort of funny the way she just went along with everything. He would say something completely mad and she'd say "okay" and that was it. He thought of earlier that day, before she asked to see to father.

He was lying under the console, nothing was broken but he always liked to check to be certain everything was operating. He didn't want any malfunctions. He heard footsteps enter the console room and stop next to him. "What are you doing?" Rose asked bending down to see.

The Doctor smirked. "If I told you, would you even be able to guess what it is that I'm talking about?"

"Probably not, but I like it when you talk all smart anyway. You just think you're so cool with your alien speak."

"I _am _so cool."

Rose laughed. She sat in the jump seat next to the Doctor's leather jacket and swung her legs watching the Doctor work. She couldn't see what he was doing, but it looked complicated with the way he was moving his arms. Every few minutes he'd shift and wiggle to reach something else under the console. One time in particular he arched his back to reach something and Rose could see muscle pressed against his jumper. She blushed. He liked to say he had a "daft old face", but Rose like it. She like everything about him and that was not helping with her attempts to not make their companionship awkward. Because the Doctor was right. He _was_ so cool and he _was _so impressive and she really needed to stop herself. He said he was what, 900 years old? That _was_ one hell of an age gap. Also he's an alien. There are probably laws against that sort of thing.

The Doctor was wondering if Rose was watching him. She usually did. He wondered why. Maybe he really _was _so impressive. Maybe she was impressed. It's not like she understood how a TARDIS worked and so she couldn't really be interested in any repairs he might be making, could she? He already examined every inch of the console. There wasn't a thing out of place, but he liked the idea of Rose watching him. So, he pretended he was working and hoped she couldn't tell. He moved his arms and wiggled a bit hoping to give the impression that it was difficult. He smiled. He could practically feel her eyes on him. She was watching him alright. He arched his back a bit. It was wrong of him to play these games with her and he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. The silence to seemed to grow tense. After a moment of more pretend tinkering, he slid out from under the console and sat on his knees.

"Everything seems to be in working order now."

"Good… that's good," She said. She bit her lip.

The Doctor couldn't help but stare. There was a small mark like she'd been worrying that lip an awful lot lately. He hoped it was his fault. He wanted to slap himself for hoping. "So," He stood and dusted of his jeans. "I'm just gonna go and change and then we can go somewhere if you like."

"Yeah."

* * *

It felt like he was being pulled and then he was falling. He could see but everything was too bright and he had to shut his eyes. His lungs burned and he gasped to fill them. Then everything was just how he left it. The church and all the people. Rose was standing in the doorway, the sun created a brilliant halo around her. He hadn't even noticed that is was particularly sunny. He wanted to run over there and hug her tight, but he remembered that this wasn't about him. She was watching her father kill himself to save her and to save the whole planet. He went to her side. "Go to him."

His words seemed to wake her from a trance and she ran. She went right to her father's side and held his hand. The Doctor walked to meet her as the ambulance arrived. He offered his hand and she took it. He wasn't jealous anymore. Not of her wanting to be with her father. He _was _jealous that he hadn't gotten to do something like that for her. He wanted to do something so fantastic and perfect, like dying to save her life. He knew if the time came, he wouldn't hesitate for a second. He would die for Rose Tyler. He wished more than anything he could tell her that.

They reached the TARDIS and the Doctor sighed at the sight of his home as he reached the console. He had that comfortable and relived feeling you get after a long hard day when you can finally just relax. Rose however, was leaning against the TARDIS doors, crying. Silently, gently, crying. He walked back down the ramp to her. He reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Rose." He said softly.

She took a deep breath, but she wasn't quite ready to calm down. She threw herself into his arms and he held her. He stroked her hair comfortingly as she sobbed into his jumper. After a few minutes, she looked up at him. Her eyes were red.

"I thought I'd never see you again. I thought you were dead and it was my fault."

He looked into her eyes. "Rose Tyler, I will never leave you," He said certainly.

She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed him. One kiss, soft and sweet, before hugging him as tight as she could. He smiled and buried his face in her hair. _Fantastic._


End file.
